yesterday was Mothers day

able to convince one human of the wrong thing
and you are punished eternally yours in service
put together
like a horse and carriage where all your babies are taught how to regret and fear and shank
and to forgive,
everyone but themselves
walks outside the carriage praying
hail marys and whispering their stories
of sex, all trumped up and shaken
inside the babies whimpers reminds our men of moans
and makes their toes curl
hooks into the ground they cant move
and babies' intellect is blamed for stagnation of progress Meanwhile
the horse trudges on with blinders
on whose darkness
enhances the feeling
--of being surrounded
in front of me mens heads are hung and assholes clenched
As they try to move away from themselves. A low hum comes
from the left and the right and I expect an onslaught of stingers which never cums ofcourse the owl and i havent seen each other since the ark and i break my back tryna remember what she said was behind me
but dead weight in tow, that i remember, and hands that periodically sign a cross me backside i can feel
switch my hips for momentum
I dont see what it feels to be surrounded
But if i close my eyes and remember
AGAPEng whole
fall back in it
and resume the position
of embracing and surrounding
and I feel space and infinity
and dont need to be filled to be full
I hear laughter You think I'm trudging stubborn in a million sistahs hoof prints
And I say so, what?
Not to reject you but cuz were still waiting for your response.
Which yes indeed we fortell maybe along the 'Well what am I to do if you dont need me?'
And I say we will remember want
And search with desire the garden of a new God's love whose name might still be Jesus
Necessity was lost
the first time we died and hid ourselves with leaves
and left that world, continued into another
then
what is life and death
if we keep going with our mens toes curled locked in the ground
and our babies whimpers are faulted
and i am blinded
and here we've arrived again at that same tree
--of the knowledge of Good and Evil
i see to know is not to understand
as i've known you

and am ashamed and can think of nothing
but the horse and carriage
on til we dont know life or death anymore